Dearest Bliss,
Long-lost lover, the one whose face I’ve never seen, the one who lives deep in my belly, the one who reminds me of why this wild adventure is worth living, anyway. Welcome back. And where the hell have you been? Or, perhaps the appropriate question is, where the hell have I been?
Yes, yes, I feel you tonight. Light and jumpy and very very free. Sultry and spunky and so not caring about what anyone thinks. I knew you well at sweet sixteen, staying up late and giggling in boarding school hallways. Standing on the toilets smoking Camel Lights. Then, years later on starry nights on the other side of the world, daring to enjoy my life.
Risking silliness, not so much seriousness, not so afraid to admit to the world that I have a purpose, that this woman’s on a mission. Risking to not care about how it all turns out, anyway. As long as I feel this right now.
Stay and play. I will listen to music more. I will eat warm blueberry muffins with butter and (consider) pizza (sometimes). I will laugh with my girlfriends. I will make more girlfriends. I will hoola hoop. I will kiss my boyfriend more. I will take more deep breaths, even–especially–when I’m grumpy.
I will love this world with all of my heart, and so much more. I will give everything I’ve got for as long as I’ve got it, and so much more.
Most of all, I will forgive myself if I wake up in the morning and don’t do any of it.
I love you. Please stay. But go and come as you must. But please stay. And welcome back.
I love you.
Sara
