Practicing intentional silence is one of the most powerful ways that you can tap into true happiness. Sounds easy, right?
Sort of.
Those of you who have met me in person know that I’m not a very talkative gal. A part of my soul has always longed to live as a monastic. One of my favorite things about living in Thailand was hearing the temple bells ring every morning at 4am, calling the monks and nuns to meditation followed by a barefoot walk through the streets to gather alms (which would be their only meal for the day). Maybe one day I will join them. Or maybe in past lives I already have. But in this particular woman-of-the-world embodiment, I tap into that silence and simplicity by going on retreat.
Whether you fall at the introverted or extroverted end of the spectrum, or somewhere in between, silence plays such an important role in women’s lives. Especially at this time of the month–the New Moon.
In silence we hear our hearts. In silence emotions and experiences that didn’t get digested because of our busy-ness can resurface and be attended to with skill and deep care. In this way, silence isn’t always easy.
For me, when I enter retreat, or around the time of the dark moon, complex and murky emotions that I would rather not feel or look at emerge: anger, sadness, grief, anxiety. Last week this happened countless times during the day and there was no e-mailing, no magazine or novel reading, no phone calling to turn to as distractions. This is a good, but challenging, thing.
Pausing, softening, and relaxing into our emotions allows us to feel them–to actually locate them in the body without attaching a story or an agenda to them. With space, we can become curious rather than resistant and ask:
- Where do I feel this in my body?
- What temperature is this energy? Is it moving slowly or quickly, sharply or smoothly?
- Where do I feel it now?
We sit, watch, and feel; and, like everything else in life, the emotion changes. In that change, there’s a learning. Maybe even a revelation.
Within the poison we find the medicine.
When we approach ourselves in this way, we become like the peacock, whose feathers become radiant with color through eating poison. The parts of ourselves that we’re most afraid to feel and accept actually become the portal through which we experience our greatest joy.
If you’ve never attended a silent retreat, I highly recommend that you do. If that feels like too much, spend one morning or day each week in silence. Take 2-4 days each season to have an at-home silent retreat.
When else do we get to slow down, listen deeply, turn the outward momentum of the mind back in on itself to find out who we really are? How else can our feathers express their true beauty?
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(photo credit: riacale)
