My favorite view from Kripalu
I recently enjoyed a week of studying with one of my favorite teachers, Sarah Powers (many of you caught the interview I did with her in the Virtual Women’s Circle last month) at Kripalu in the Berkshires of Lenox, Massachusetts.
As a teacher, meditator, yogini, perpetual student, business woman, sister, daughter, mentor, and friend, taking time out for retreat and study is not optional. It’s essential. In fact, I can assure you that there’s no way I would be here doing what I’m doing if I didn’t make these “time outs” a priority. They feed my body and soul, and, in turn, they benefit everyone around me (including you!). In fact, I think that regular retreats are crucial for all of us to be healthy, happy, and sane.
Why? Stress levels today are higher than ever before in the history of humankind. And, sadly, they’re only going up. Unless you’ve chosen to live unplugged and off the grid, you’re constantly bombarded by e-mails, tweets, texts, phone calls, pings, IM’s, facebook messages, and more. It’s now a challenge to be alone, much less to be quiet and face the wise mirrors of our own bodies and minds. When we succumb to the continual onslaught of information and interruptions, stress hormones constantly flood our blood streams. We lose site of who we truly are and how to be guided by our inner wisdom. As a result we suffer from exhaustion, weight gain, depression, anxiety, and ultimately, disease.
It’s time to get savvy with our stress. To safeguard ourselves from the continual stimuli and to take responsibility for our own sanity.
The best way to do that is to take regular “time outs” to rest, recharge, unplug, and just be. Lately I’ve been inspired by some colleagues who have taken “digital sabbaticals” or who espouse drastic simplicity. I, too, know the brilliance of unplugging and simplifying first-hand.
10 years ago I sat my first 10-day silent meditation retreat in Thailand. Since that time I have attended about a dozen more silent meditation retreats ranging from 10-40 days, and at least twice as many yoga retreats and trainings. How do I find the time, you ask? I make retreating a priority. Each year when I sit down to map out my schedule for the upcoming months I always make sure to carve out time for at least one long meditation retreat and one professional training, as well as other shorter seasonal retreats (which I often do myself at home).
Yes, it costs money. Yes, it’s hard to carve out time away from work and family responsibilities. And, yes, it is worth it. No question.
We all hit plateaus in our yoga and meditation practices, as well as in our own day-to-day evolution. We all hit dry spells and, moreover, we all have blind spots. Mentors, teachers, coaches, and frequent stretches of being “baked” in wisdom traditions remedy this. Silence to get to know ourselves again helps a lot, too. On retreat it’s the teachers, time away from our regular roles, and most of all the spaciousness that’s so curative. These are stretches of time to quiet our minds and rejuvenate our bodies (through good sleep, good yoga, afternoon siestas, healthy foods that you don’t need to cook yourself!, and long lingering walks in nature). Rather than packing in as many tasks and activities as we can into one day, we enjoy stretches of simplicity to renew our inspiration and commitment to live rich lives.
How do you know when it’s time for retreat?
- You hit snooze on your alarm clock more than once each morning.
- You need to drink more than one cup of coffee or tea to keep you going during the day.
- You feel overwhelmed and uninspired about your work, spiritual practice, and/or life.
- You start randomly cursing inanimate objects (or people) that dare to get in your way.
- You move through your yoga practice like a robot—devoid of feeling or passion.
- You blame other people, places, and circumstances for your misery.
- You sit down on your meditation cushion and then jump up because you want to update your facebook status.
- Your yoga mat or meditation cushion is starting to gather dust.
- You feel like you’re going a little (or a lot) crazy.
Interspersing seasonal, or at least bi-annual, retreats or study time will, however, keep you from going that far over the edge. When you build them into your yearly rhythm you’re making a commitment to water your inner garden REGUARLY. This not only nurtures your childhood wonder and joy but it also safeguards your adult sanity!
Here are a few simple ways that you can start making retreats and trainings a regular part of your life:
- Plan Ahead. Sit down with a blank calendar, with enough pages to cover the next 12 months (you can do this at any time of the year, it doesn’t have to in January). Map out the months that you know might be difficult for you and will need a break—times after you’ve finished a big project at work or in family life. Also look at your favorite teacher’s schedule to see when they’re leading retreats and trainings. Choose a couple, at least several months apart and put them down on your calendar IN INK. I usually make sure to register and send in my deposit once I know the dates will work—that way I can’t talk myself out of it or let it fall to the back burner as the time grows near (and I can take advantage of the early registration discounts). I’m already committed. I’m already going. If longer retreats or trainings intimidate you or your have small children, start with something shorter like a long weekend.
- Start Saving. Open up another savings account (or a sub-account to your current savings account) and call it “Education” “Retreats” or “Personal Growth.” Each month put a small percentage of your income (you determine the amount) into your fund. It’s much easier to afford retreats and trainings if you set aside a little bit each month than trying to come up with the money at the last minute. Also, many Buddhist retreat centers offer scholarships or donation-based courses to suit all price ranges. These options helped me immensely in the beginning.
- Communicate Your Needs. Tell your family, friends, and colleagues when you’re planning on going on retreat. Inform them that you won’t be available for e-mailing or phone calls during that time. Give them a clear date when you’ll be available for them after the retreat and who they can turn to if they have a question or a problem while you’re away. If they question or challenge you, tell them this is an important aspect of healthy adulthood. Stick to what you value and don’t be swayed by their opinion.
- Don’t Back Down. It’s easy to chicken out at the last minute (hence the reason why I recommend booking and paying early—both for the retreat and your flight tickets). Things always come up at the last minute that will call your attention and urge you not to go away. Also fears can come up about stepping out of your comfort zone and opening up to change and feeling yourself more deeply. This is usually the universe testing your commitment! How much do you value yourself and your own personal growth?
- Be the Change. When you return home from your retreat or training you will be transformed. Your eyes and skin will glow. You’ll smile and laugh more. You’ll be more resilient and optimistic. And, of course, everyone around you will notice and appreciate this. Once the people close to you see how much you benefit from your time away they’ll encourage and support it (and maybe even be inspired to start doing it for themselves).
The greatest gift you can give yourself (and humanity) is a continual commitment to your own evolution and consciousness. Never forget that!
Have you had a positive experience with going away for a retreat or training? If so, please let others in our community know about it by leaving a comment below!
Because I love leading retreats as much I love attending them, here’s a list of some upcoming ones if you’d like to join me!
- Virtual Yoga & Meditation Retreat: The Fall Equinox (September 25; Online)
- The Red Tent: Mini Yoga & Meditation Retreat (October 23; Boulder, CO)
- Women’s Yoga, Meditation & Detox Retreat (January 7-15; Chiang Mai, Thailand)
- 200-Hour Women’s Yoga Teacher Training (January 18-February 16; Chiang Mai, Thailand)
- The Way of the Happy Woman Mother’s Day Weekend Retreat (May 6-8; Kripalu in Lenox, MA)
